Who: Dan Buettner and his hoodrat friends
What: ButterBall 2009 aka BuettnerBall
Where: Graves 601 Hotel
When: Saturday, November, 21, 2009
Why: A benefit for Open Arms of Minnesota

It’s been two years since I wrote about Dan Buettner’s blue zones, and our relationship is still stuck in a weird blue period of our very own, but despite that fact (or maybe only because Mpls.St.Paul Magazine is a media sponsor), I got a media pass to Buettner’s big party, The ButterBall, held at the fifth floor ballroom at the Graves.

Who: History lovers and those who love the Science Museum
What: Titanic: The Artifact Exhibition Opening Reception
When: June 11. 2009
Where: The Science Museum of Minnesota
Why: To relive history through artifacts and stories

Lately on the Party Patrol circuit, things have been feeling a little forced. Smiles have been tighter. The décor has been slightly more demure. Partygoers have seemed a little self-conscious about blinging out during times like these. But at the Science Museum's reception for the opening of Titanic: the Artifact Exhibition, somebody's finally figured out this fin de siecle vibe.

Who: A sweet, gigantic former NFL player and his friends
What: Esera Tuaolo CD Release Party
Where: Trocadero's
When: May 9, 2009
Why: Because Party Patrol thinks music brings us together

I have no idea what the sheriff of the Party Patrol thinks about my lifestyle--does Steve like football? Does he like electro pop performed by former football players that have famously come out of the closet? But last Saturday, I was assigned the Esera Tuaolo CD release party at Trocadero's.

And I nearly turned in my badge.

Who: Models, Photographers, and the People Who Like to Look at Them
What: Fashion Fight Night 3, a fashion extravaganza where models and photogs duke it out in the ring
When: Saturday, February 28, 2009
Where: Uppercut Boxing Gym, Northeast Minneapolis
Why: For fashion’s sake, also some of the events proceeds support The LEAD Project

A little over a week ago, I was at Uppercut Gym—Lisa Bauch’s sparkling new digs in Northeast—with my college philosophy professor Dr. Gordon Marino. We were shooting Doc for a story I’m writing for the April issue; we were in the ring because when he’s not down in Northfield at St. Olaf teaching Freud and Kierkegaard, Doc writes about boxing for The Wall Street Journal and trains amateur fighters. In between setups, Doc waved me over. “Put the gloves on,” he said. “I’ll give you your first lesson.” What am I going to learn, Doc? He looked at me like I had just fallen off the noob truck and rasped, “Stance and jab, man.”